Time for another book review! I know I have some family members that appreciate a good book review every now and then :)
So I just finished Wench by Dolen Perkins-Valdez. I had seen the book when perusing through Goodreads, and I will say it was well worth it.
This is a story of four very different black women (told for the most part from Lizzie's perspective) who meet for a few summers at Tawawa House, a resort that white masters take their black slave mistresses for a vacation to the north.
This is probably one of my favorite books I have read in recent years, along with Calling Me Home, which I read last year (similar in that they deal with interracial relationships.) The first of the book was a little slow for me, but around the time that Sweet has her baby, the book picks up and I finished it within 24 hours from that.
This book is actually a pretty easy read, and I would say it would be a great book if you have a couple days and want to read something a little different. I think it truly tells the brutally honest truth about how "masters" would treat their different slave women. (We have 4 women, each of whom comes from a very different master.)
Recommended!
Thursday, January 29, 2015
Tuesday, January 27, 2015
Jillie Update 1/26
I did not realize how many people were following Jillie's story, so when I go without updating it, people start to ask many questions...
The real story is - no news is good news! Jillie is very happy and back to her normal self. Still blind in one eye, but of course, that could be permanent damage left over. We are hopeful that some/all will come back, but we are happy where she is now.
She got blood chemistry done yesterday, which was faxed to A&M for the neurologist to check her blood levels since she has been on heavy doses of seizure medication. The only thing at all that was abnormal was her BUN. Normal is 27, hers was 30 (don't know what these numbers represent.) The vet said that the number is NOT a red flag. If it was very high, it could be a sign of intestinal bleeding or renal failure, but those things have other signs that Jillie doesn't have. At this point, it just looks like she is getting some intestinal irritation from the medication. Hopefully that can be solved with making sure she eats food with her medication. Seems like a pretty easy fix for a minimal problem.
She is such a lazy dog that sometimes I freak out when she is being her lazy self and not getting up to go outside. But I try to remember that if she had done that a month ago, I wouldn't have thought a second time about it. She is just being her normal self, so hopefully the healing will continue to the point where we can take her off medications.
Oh, and we are down to 1/2 of a steroid pill every day! Getting something done, right??
Thanks y'all for the love and support!
The real story is - no news is good news! Jillie is very happy and back to her normal self. Still blind in one eye, but of course, that could be permanent damage left over. We are hopeful that some/all will come back, but we are happy where she is now.
She got blood chemistry done yesterday, which was faxed to A&M for the neurologist to check her blood levels since she has been on heavy doses of seizure medication. The only thing at all that was abnormal was her BUN. Normal is 27, hers was 30 (don't know what these numbers represent.) The vet said that the number is NOT a red flag. If it was very high, it could be a sign of intestinal bleeding or renal failure, but those things have other signs that Jillie doesn't have. At this point, it just looks like she is getting some intestinal irritation from the medication. Hopefully that can be solved with making sure she eats food with her medication. Seems like a pretty easy fix for a minimal problem.
She is such a lazy dog that sometimes I freak out when she is being her lazy self and not getting up to go outside. But I try to remember that if she had done that a month ago, I wouldn't have thought a second time about it. She is just being her normal self, so hopefully the healing will continue to the point where we can take her off medications.
Oh, and we are down to 1/2 of a steroid pill every day! Getting something done, right??
Thanks y'all for the love and support!
Thursday, January 15, 2015
Happy Jillie 1/15
Jillie is still doing pretty awesome. We have gotten her to eat a little, she's still drinking a lot. Dad sent a video of her this morning walking down to get the mail - she was trotting and wagging her tail, she is really looking fabulous.
Our only concerns are the shakes/quivers she is getting, which could definitely be a side effect of the drugs she is on, and of course, the fact that the slow motor control in her back end and the blindness could be permanent damage. But, if that is the only permanent damage she suffers, we could truly not complain. She has been functioning like a normal dog, just a special dog :)
Thank you again for all your love, support, prayers, thoughts, etc!
Our only concerns are the shakes/quivers she is getting, which could definitely be a side effect of the drugs she is on, and of course, the fact that the slow motor control in her back end and the blindness could be permanent damage. But, if that is the only permanent damage she suffers, we could truly not complain. She has been functioning like a normal dog, just a special dog :)
Thank you again for all your love, support, prayers, thoughts, etc!
Wednesday, January 14, 2015
1/14 Morning
Not much news today, but no news is good news when Jillie is up, walking around, not having seizures, drinking lots of water and eating snacks. She hasn't eaten any of her regular dog food, but that's okay, we are going to be working on it.
Her backs legs are still very weak. They noticed that the first night at A&M, but it has been pretty apparent since she has been home. But she has still been going out, going potty, and Dad said she did trot back to him last night in the middle of the night, too. This, of course, is excellent news. She is still trying to fight sleep, and the medicine gives her the shakes occasionally and makes her pant. But she is home and she is happy. She is wagging her tail and she can't give enough kisses!
One week ago this morning, my sweetest dog could barely walk back in the house. Today, she is jogging through my parents' yard. Maybe some people think that I was wasting my time, doing so much for a dog that is "just a dog." But to me, she's not "just a dog." She is MINE and she is MY FAMILY and why would I not do these things that I would do for myself?
If we had never taken her to A&M, we would never have found out that there was a bleed in her brain, and when she started having seizures and got put on the first medication but continued to have problems, I wouldn't have had Dr. Anderson from A&M to tell the vets in Bowie to put Jillie on Keppra, which, it appears, has saved her life. She has not had any seizures since her first round of Keppra, and we would like to keep it that way (duh.)
Among the most surprising of support came from Dogs Today Magazine, that shared Jillie's picture and at this point, 1,500 people have liked the picture. That is 1,500 people who have put Jillie in their thoughts just this morning! We are eternally grateful for all the love and support from everyone.
Just getting by on little victories :)
Her backs legs are still very weak. They noticed that the first night at A&M, but it has been pretty apparent since she has been home. But she has still been going out, going potty, and Dad said she did trot back to him last night in the middle of the night, too. This, of course, is excellent news. She is still trying to fight sleep, and the medicine gives her the shakes occasionally and makes her pant. But she is home and she is happy. She is wagging her tail and she can't give enough kisses!
One week ago this morning, my sweetest dog could barely walk back in the house. Today, she is jogging through my parents' yard. Maybe some people think that I was wasting my time, doing so much for a dog that is "just a dog." But to me, she's not "just a dog." She is MINE and she is MY FAMILY and why would I not do these things that I would do for myself?
If we had never taken her to A&M, we would never have found out that there was a bleed in her brain, and when she started having seizures and got put on the first medication but continued to have problems, I wouldn't have had Dr. Anderson from A&M to tell the vets in Bowie to put Jillie on Keppra, which, it appears, has saved her life. She has not had any seizures since her first round of Keppra, and we would like to keep it that way (duh.)
Among the most surprising of support came from Dogs Today Magazine, that shared Jillie's picture and at this point, 1,500 people have liked the picture. That is 1,500 people who have put Jillie in their thoughts just this morning! We are eternally grateful for all the love and support from everyone.
Just getting by on little victories :)
Tuesday, January 13, 2015
1/13 Evening
Jillie while I'm writing
I have been hesitant to post pictures of Jillie up until this point, but she is no longer seizing and things are looking good. It's hard trying to be positive and stay hopeful, but not too hopeful to get let down, but also stay realistic that she may have many more setbacks. But today was a little victory.. And we'll get by on little victories :)
She was happy to see me earlier, wagging her tail and even popping a squat right there in the vets office ;) she was very uneasy standing the whole way home, because her pelvis still has "slow" muscles. But she did not lay down for a few hours after we got home. She walked around mostly, sometimes standing staring off into space, but mostly following us wherever we were walking. We went outside to let her potty, and she was wandering around, but when we called her back, she was TROTTING toward us :)
She veers to her right when she walks, which I believe is compensating for the blindness in her right eye. She has walked into a few things, and she likes to walk right up against things on that side so she knows where they are.
She got her next dose of seizure medicine and we finally got her to lay down. She was fighting the seizure medicine hard, not wanting to lay down and go to sleep, but she finally drifted off into deep doggy sleep.
She has also been giving lots of kisses.. So next time your dog gives you kisses, take a minute to enjoy it, because it may be the thing that leaves you clinging on to hope!
Jillie on the ride home earlier
This is a whole new pup, and we are glad to see this side of her again! There is a still long road ahead of us, but the good days are so worth it!
Late morning 1/13
After I left Jillie this morning, the vets did stand her up in her cage, and she walked out of her cage, went out side and went number 1 and number 2, and she drank water and ate a little food. These are major improvements, and as long as everything stays the same or gets better, she will get to come home tonight.
She will be on seizure medication 3 times a day, and we may have to make her food into a mush, and may have to help her squat and go potty, but I can handle those things. Just glad to be able to get her home!
Thanks again for the well wishes, prayers, positive thoughts, reiki, energy, etc that people have been putting out there. Means a lot to us both!
She will be on seizure medication 3 times a day, and we may have to make her food into a mush, and may have to help her squat and go potty, but I can handle those things. Just glad to be able to get her home!
Thanks again for the well wishes, prayers, positive thoughts, reiki, energy, etc that people have been putting out there. Means a lot to us both!
1/13 Morning
I thought I would be taking Jillie home from the vet yesterday evening, but she was VERY sedated from her anti-seizure medication and she still couldn't swallow. That meant we couldn't bring her home for oral medications. She finally woke up a little and could definitely hear us but she was very groggy.
I went by this morning before work and she was awake, but there were a lot of people in the room and barking dogs. This seemed to be triggering some seizure-like activity (because light, noise, anything really can set off a seizure.) When they left, I opened her kennel door and sat with her. I talked to her and she opened her eyes and lifted her head and was watching me and licked my hand. When the doctor came in, she lifted her head and watched him come in.
She was panting heavily, which made me nervous, but they said the medication was doing that to her, and on top of that, she still couldn't swallow. She doesn't seem in pain or unhappy, really. She still seemed groggy, but she knew I was there and put her head on my knee while I talked to her.
I asked the doctor what he thought her outcome would be from this. He said, if it is just a hematoma or a bleed, he thought about a 50/50 chance. If it's a tumor or mass, her chances go down to about 20-30%. Not that news that I wanted to hear, but I guess this has been a reality for several days now.
She had also peed in her cage, and that made me worried that she had another seizure through the night (they don't have people monitoring all night.) He said that if the seizure is bad enough, and even though this is the strongest medication for seizures right now, a seizure could still happen.
Two days ago, I told Jillie it was okay to let go. That I would be okay if she needed to go. She just needed to show me a sign that she was ready. That night, she got up, drank water, was awake for a while, walking around on her own, using the potty on her own. That's not her giving up.
When she had the bad seizure yesterday morning, I thought that was it. Then the vet called and said that she was standing in her kennel. That is not her giving up.
When we went by and saw her last night, the vet tech said, "She is a fighter." She isn't giving up.
So I can't give up either.
I went by this morning before work and she was awake, but there were a lot of people in the room and barking dogs. This seemed to be triggering some seizure-like activity (because light, noise, anything really can set off a seizure.) When they left, I opened her kennel door and sat with her. I talked to her and she opened her eyes and lifted her head and was watching me and licked my hand. When the doctor came in, she lifted her head and watched him come in.
She was panting heavily, which made me nervous, but they said the medication was doing that to her, and on top of that, she still couldn't swallow. She doesn't seem in pain or unhappy, really. She still seemed groggy, but she knew I was there and put her head on my knee while I talked to her.
I asked the doctor what he thought her outcome would be from this. He said, if it is just a hematoma or a bleed, he thought about a 50/50 chance. If it's a tumor or mass, her chances go down to about 20-30%. Not that news that I wanted to hear, but I guess this has been a reality for several days now.
She had also peed in her cage, and that made me worried that she had another seizure through the night (they don't have people monitoring all night.) He said that if the seizure is bad enough, and even though this is the strongest medication for seizures right now, a seizure could still happen.
Two days ago, I told Jillie it was okay to let go. That I would be okay if she needed to go. She just needed to show me a sign that she was ready. That night, she got up, drank water, was awake for a while, walking around on her own, using the potty on her own. That's not her giving up.
When she had the bad seizure yesterday morning, I thought that was it. Then the vet called and said that she was standing in her kennel. That is not her giving up.
When we went by and saw her last night, the vet tech said, "She is a fighter." She isn't giving up.
So I can't give up either.
Monday, January 12, 2015
Unbroken - Laura Hillenbrand
So I decided to do my first book review for the first book I have finished this year. Ever since Carrie read this, I have wanted to, and now I finally have.
I loved Unbroken. The only fault I could find in the books is the Moby Dick-esque explanations about the airplanes. Other than that, this book was pretty flawless. And if you ever felt bad about dropping the a-bombs in Japan, read this book, and it will make you want to drop two more. Maybe that's bad to say. But I am a blunt person.
I would definitely recommend this book.
But I did read a passage that really stuck out to me. I'm not a very religious person, but for anyone out there who is and who has told me that they are praying for Jillie, or even those of you who just want to send her positive thoughts or good energy, this might hit home for all of us.
Graham went on. He spoke of God reaching into the world through miracles and the intangible blessings that give men the strength to outlast their sorrows. "God works miracles one after another," he said. "... God says, 'If you suffer, I'll give you the grace to go forward.'"
We are all suffering right now. No one is suffering physically, including Jillie, but there is suffering emotionally. So for now, we are waiting for the grace.
I loved Unbroken. The only fault I could find in the books is the Moby Dick-esque explanations about the airplanes. Other than that, this book was pretty flawless. And if you ever felt bad about dropping the a-bombs in Japan, read this book, and it will make you want to drop two more. Maybe that's bad to say. But I am a blunt person.
I would definitely recommend this book.
But I did read a passage that really stuck out to me. I'm not a very religious person, but for anyone out there who is and who has told me that they are praying for Jillie, or even those of you who just want to send her positive thoughts or good energy, this might hit home for all of us.
Graham went on. He spoke of God reaching into the world through miracles and the intangible blessings that give men the strength to outlast their sorrows. "God works miracles one after another," he said. "... God says, 'If you suffer, I'll give you the grace to go forward.'"
We are all suffering right now. No one is suffering physically, including Jillie, but there is suffering emotionally. So for now, we are waiting for the grace.
Afternoon 1/12
After talking to the vet at A&M this morning, she suggested that we go get a "blast" of seizure medication at the doctor in Bowie. So it was a larger dose that was inserted via IV. She will continue to be on that medication for, well, until further notice.
When I called the vet this afternoon, she said that Jillie was standing up, which is good news, but she was pressing her head against the cage, like she had a pretty good headache. I'm glad that she is showing improvement, and I hope that we can take her home and the seizures will stop long enough to get her brain better.
These drugs are an every 8 hour medication, and because of the first dose, that means that her doses will be at 7PM... and then at 3AM. I think this is definitely a good thing, though.
She will return home with me this afternoon.
Thanks again for all y'all's kind words.
When I called the vet this afternoon, she said that Jillie was standing up, which is good news, but she was pressing her head against the cage, like she had a pretty good headache. I'm glad that she is showing improvement, and I hope that we can take her home and the seizures will stop long enough to get her brain better.
These drugs are an every 8 hour medication, and because of the first dose, that means that her doses will be at 7PM... and then at 3AM. I think this is definitely a good thing, though.
She will return home with me this afternoon.
Thanks again for all y'all's kind words.
Morning of 1/12
We brought Jillie home yesterday, as you all probably know. I took her straight to my parents' house, which was a hard decision to be away from her all night, but I knew my dad would be home this week and could keep a watchful eye over her and take care of her.
We got her medication in her about 4:30 yesterday, and I laid with her for a while. At one point, I heard her lift her head up, and as soon as I started talking to her, she fell backward and had a very small seizure that lasted about 10 seconds. About a minute later, she had another one, maybe 10-15 seconds.
Shortly after, she had two more short ones. These seizures were not violent. They were mostly her front legs and neck getting stiff and shaking a little, and her eyes twitching and rolling around. She also urinated, which makes me think that she had a seizure that second night at home, the night before we took her to A&M.
She ended up having two more a while later, so I called A&M, and they suggested I go get her seizure medication immediately. So I made an emergency appointment in Bowie, got her medication, drove straight back to my parents' and gave it to her. I left shortly after that so I could go get some sleep, and I was pretty confident in the medication.
Now is Dad's part of the story.
He thinks it was around midnight when she got out of bed, walked to the bowls and drank quite a bit of water. She wandered to the door, but when Mom tried to see if she wanted to go outside, she really didn't. She squatted and peed in the house, which is uncharacteristic of her, but at least her body was functioning. Tee-tee is easy to clean up. She was up for about 30 minutes and went and laid back in her bed, and my parents went to sleep.
Around 3, Dad woke up and saw that she was outside of her bed on the blanket and her legs were stiff. She was not seizing, but she was in the after-effects of one, which was panting and legs very stiff. He called me around 4 to tell me, but since she wasn't actually seizing, there was nothing we could do. I got to my parents' at 7, and she had not moved positions and her legs were still stiff like she was in post-seizure. As soon as she saw me and I started talking to her, her heart rate went up and she started panting. That means that she knew I was there and was alert. She was moving her eyes and occasionally her ears, but her body showed no movements.
Dad and I decided to flip her on her other side so hopefully if her brain was swollen, it would take some pressure off that side. It almost seemed like she had some convulsions during that, and her body and tail were moving, but she stayed extremely stiff. It was almost like her nerves were taking over. She didn't show any signs of improvement before I left for work.
I have been on the phone with A&M to talk to the neurologists all morning, but they are in the middle of rounds and won't be available until 10 AM. I still have hope in the spinal tap results, because if they could just pinpoint it to something else, we might have hope.
Life isn't fair. And I mean that in all the good ways and bad ways.
It wasn't fair to all the other people in the world who search for a good dog and can't find one. Jillie stumbled into my life as a guest, and I kept her as my own.
It isn't fair that I didn't want a dog at the time, but that I fell in love so quickly. It wasn't fair to either of us.
It wasn't fair that I didn't have a CLUE what I was doing with a dog by myself. Jillie was my learning curve.
It wasn't fair to me that she showed so much kindness and patience toward someone who, on most days, didn't want to take her for a walk. But I did.
It was never fair to all the other dogs, in the past and in the future, that they will never come close to my big love with Jillie. Everyone, in their life, has a big love. ONE big love. And as far as dogs go, she is my ONE big love. And trust me, she has a big amount of love to give. And I could learn a little something from her.
And it's not fair that she is going through this.
It's not fair to think that another dog deserved this more than her.
It's not fair that I couldn't prevent her from this. It was my job to prevent her from so many things that could kill her - heartworms, rabies, distemper, getting hit by a car. It's not fair that there isn't prevention for this.
And it's not fair that as much as it breaks my heart, I KNOW it breaks her heart that she can't cuddle up with me, lick my face, and in her own way, tell me that everything is going to be okay.
We got her medication in her about 4:30 yesterday, and I laid with her for a while. At one point, I heard her lift her head up, and as soon as I started talking to her, she fell backward and had a very small seizure that lasted about 10 seconds. About a minute later, she had another one, maybe 10-15 seconds.
Shortly after, she had two more short ones. These seizures were not violent. They were mostly her front legs and neck getting stiff and shaking a little, and her eyes twitching and rolling around. She also urinated, which makes me think that she had a seizure that second night at home, the night before we took her to A&M.
She ended up having two more a while later, so I called A&M, and they suggested I go get her seizure medication immediately. So I made an emergency appointment in Bowie, got her medication, drove straight back to my parents' and gave it to her. I left shortly after that so I could go get some sleep, and I was pretty confident in the medication.
Now is Dad's part of the story.
He thinks it was around midnight when she got out of bed, walked to the bowls and drank quite a bit of water. She wandered to the door, but when Mom tried to see if she wanted to go outside, she really didn't. She squatted and peed in the house, which is uncharacteristic of her, but at least her body was functioning. Tee-tee is easy to clean up. She was up for about 30 minutes and went and laid back in her bed, and my parents went to sleep.
Around 3, Dad woke up and saw that she was outside of her bed on the blanket and her legs were stiff. She was not seizing, but she was in the after-effects of one, which was panting and legs very stiff. He called me around 4 to tell me, but since she wasn't actually seizing, there was nothing we could do. I got to my parents' at 7, and she had not moved positions and her legs were still stiff like she was in post-seizure. As soon as she saw me and I started talking to her, her heart rate went up and she started panting. That means that she knew I was there and was alert. She was moving her eyes and occasionally her ears, but her body showed no movements.
Dad and I decided to flip her on her other side so hopefully if her brain was swollen, it would take some pressure off that side. It almost seemed like she had some convulsions during that, and her body and tail were moving, but she stayed extremely stiff. It was almost like her nerves were taking over. She didn't show any signs of improvement before I left for work.
I have been on the phone with A&M to talk to the neurologists all morning, but they are in the middle of rounds and won't be available until 10 AM. I still have hope in the spinal tap results, because if they could just pinpoint it to something else, we might have hope.
Life isn't fair. And I mean that in all the good ways and bad ways.
It wasn't fair to all the other people in the world who search for a good dog and can't find one. Jillie stumbled into my life as a guest, and I kept her as my own.
It isn't fair that I didn't want a dog at the time, but that I fell in love so quickly. It wasn't fair to either of us.
It wasn't fair that I didn't have a CLUE what I was doing with a dog by myself. Jillie was my learning curve.
It wasn't fair to me that she showed so much kindness and patience toward someone who, on most days, didn't want to take her for a walk. But I did.
It was never fair to all the other dogs, in the past and in the future, that they will never come close to my big love with Jillie. Everyone, in their life, has a big love. ONE big love. And as far as dogs go, she is my ONE big love. And trust me, she has a big amount of love to give. And I could learn a little something from her.
And it's not fair that she is going through this.
It's not fair to think that another dog deserved this more than her.
It's not fair that I couldn't prevent her from this. It was my job to prevent her from so many things that could kill her - heartworms, rabies, distemper, getting hit by a car. It's not fair that there isn't prevention for this.
And it's not fair that as much as it breaks my heart, I KNOW it breaks her heart that she can't cuddle up with me, lick my face, and in her own way, tell me that everything is going to be okay.
Sunday, January 11, 2015
1-11
Jillie has had 2 seizures this evening, very short and not intense. She is staying at my parents' since Dad isn't working this week and she will be watched carefully until tomorrow. We could potentially put her on seizure medication, but she just started her other ones, so we are still hopeful for improvement. That's hopefully all I have tonight.
Leakin Pictures
I just realized that I have yet to post pictures of Jillie :)
Here is Jillie on the ride home today, tucked in her bed :)
Best buds 4 lyfe.
What We Know
So we got to pick up Jillie this morning. An early morning to the vet, and they immediately brought Jillie in to us.
SHE WAS WAGGING HER TAIL! For the first time since Wednesday morning! There is a reason we call her Jillie Waggs!
She was very quiet and not moving around a lot, but very alert and happy to see us.
There was a LOT of medical talk, but for all intents and purposes, she is a normal dog with a brain bleed. They don't believe it is a tumor anymore, possibly a hemorrhage or a blood clot that burst. This could mean the future looks like seizures, and it could mean a stroke. We are hoping that the brain will heal itself with the help of some medications. This is great news compared to what we had yesterday.
The doctor told us, "I don't want to get your hopes up, but there is still hope."
So we are hopeful for more great days :) she is sleeping in the back of the car because she has had some anxiety at the new vets office, but I know she is happy to see us.
The vet also told us that she was "shocked" that with as much damage done to her brain, that she was still functioning to the extent she was.
She is still blind in her right eye, but that's okay. We can live with that. She is having some problems with her pelvis also, but that might not be related. She might be weak, too. There are a lot of things that could stem from this problem, but we are hoping for progress.
A big thanks to the doctors in Bowie who referred me to A&M, the amazing vet techs, vets, nurses, and neurologists at A&M, my amazing parents who have been amazingly supportive in making sure that my dog gets the best medical care that we could imagine, and Blake for listening to my crying and worried thoughts for the past 5 days.
Even in the worst case, we have found some peace in knowledge, and we are happy for that.
I also appreciate everyone who has taken time out of their day to comment on my facebook, text me, or call me. It means the world.
Tumors
If you are not getting my hilarious Serial references, you need to get out from under a rock.
This is everything from last night. I will write another blog from today, but we are pretending that this is from last night.
So yesterday, I got the first call that the MRI had come through and it was showing a mass in her brain. They were uncertain, but they did have to tell me that because of the inconsistencies, she was at a "higher" risk for the spinal tap. I asked what the options were, and she said the spinal tap or a biopsy, which would mean brain surgery. Easy choice, she got the spinal tap, which would take at least 24 hours for results.
A second call came that she was awake from anethesia and the spinal tap was done. Upon further investigation, her best guess was a tumor. It looked like a mass that had a lot of blood around it. That left me 4 options.
1. High cost with most risk: brain surgery to remove the tumor with radiation afterward, knowing that they could not remove the whole tumor, and she would be at A&M for some time.
2. Medium-high cost with medium-high risk: radiation for 5-20 days.
(The radiation is once a day, and she would be put under every day to do this, with a risk every time she was put under)
3. Medical management: take her home to put her on medications to control the bleed and bring the brain swelling down.
4. Put her down.
I couldn't not give her the chance. It was a quick conversation that we would go get her and bring her home and work out where to go from there. Just want her to be comfortable and I know being away from home and with unfamiliar people, she wouldn't be. So we headed to Collehe Station...
Friday, January 9, 2015
The Jillie Call
I am typing this all on my phone, so please excuse grammar or spelling mistakes.
About 1130 this morning, my vet called with no good news. No news, really. Hadnt improved but she still hasn't stood up or really done much. He suggested I visit the neurologist at Texas A&M. I told him I would think about it, but the undertone was - you can take her or she can die. So it made my decision easy. He told me an affordable cost, I accepted it. I immediately called Dad, who was on his way home from San Antonio. He would be back at 1, so I immediately left work and headed to get him and Jillie. We met Mom in Ft Worth and hauled it south.
She was alert in the car, she was perking her ears forward when she heard us talk to her, and at one point, she sat up, stood, switched positions, sat down, then went back to sleep. I was surprised that she even stood up. It was a happy surprise :)
Dad carried her into doggy ER, they took her back and examined her for a LONG time. Then they called us back and told us what the deal was.
She is now blind in both eyes, which means it is still progressing. They know it is neurological, because it is affecting all her face muscles and making it hard to swallow. The only way to tell is an MRI and a spinal tap. So for some reason, we agreed to this. We got to see her, and she was comfortable and alert, but she would flinch very easy if we came near her face and still wasn't wagging her tail, although she moved it when we first walked in. I'm afraid that her happy tail wag is also connected to her brain, but hopefully it can all be fixed. We are hoping for news tomorrow and that she can come home on Sunday. I know she is literally in the hands of some of the best doctors and in one of the best schools.
Positive thoughts :)
The Deal with Jillie
See, I made a funny reference to the Serial Podcast in the title of this blog! Trying to keep it lighthearted in the midst of some horrific happenings going on at my house.
I have been considering writing a book blog because I'm nerdy, but the events of the last few days and the questions that have arisen around it, I figured that I would let y'all in on the happenings with details, and spare those on facebook who don't want to read about it.
So, Jillie is really sick. What she has or what is wrong with her is yet to be determined, but I'll get to that later. I'll tell a little background. If pee or poop, bothers you, SORRY, turn away now... Also, if rambling bothers you, well, you're in for a treat.
January 7
Morning - Jillie was super happy dog, doing her little stretches and wagging her tail and all set on going outside to go potty. It was a pretty cold morning, but I went back inside for about 15 minutes to finish getting ready, and then went back out to get her. When I opened the door, she was standing in the middle of the backyard just staring at me, and I could see she was shaking. It was a cold morning, so I ushered her in, where she was walking pretty slow. I know she's dramatic, so I blew it off. I did notice her eyes watering VERY bad, but I thought it was from the wind. I leave her 4 little rawhide treats when I go to work, and I noticed that she bypassed them and went straight to her bed and laid down. We all don't feel good sometimes, and I just credited it to the cold weather and maybe she was kind of tired. I left for work.
Evening - When I got home from work, she didn't greet me at the door. I knew then that she REALLY didn't feel good. Walking through my house, I noticed 2 vomit puddles in my living room, and a very small pee spot in my bedroom. She has NEVER peed in the house. She was cuddled up in my bed, and I noticed again that her eyes were runny. We've all had colds, I just let it go. I finally got her off the bed and took her outside, where she went number 1 and number 2, but it was right outside the back door. She is usually very modest and goes to the back fence. She was walking very slowly around the back yard, and while she usually comes and sits by the door to wait for me, she sat down up closer to the house. Not that weird, but not her usual self.
Usually when I get home from work, she is bugging me until I take her out, take her somewhere, or go for a walk. That day, she just went straight back to her bed. I never thought it could be anything serious. I laid in bed to read and watched her sit with her face toward the wall, then lay down toward the wall, then turn around and sit up with her eyes closed. She started bobbing her head left and right, and laid back down. She wasn't opening her eyes during any of this.
She finally stood up and walked to where I was laying on the bed, but she didn't do anything except stare at the wall. She was kind of ignoring me when I was saying her name, and was definitely not wagging her tail when I talked to her like normal. When she finally looked at me, her eyes were blood red and snot/liquid was dripping from her eyes and nose onto the floor. I immediately did the wrong thing and started googling, and to me, it looked like distemper even though she had the vaccination.
I called my vet, but she doesn't have an after hours service, so I called the other vet in Bowie, Cross Timbers. I was upset at this point, and told him there was something seriously wrong with my dog and I was afraid it was distemper. He told me that it could be a lot of things, but I could bring her in if I felt like I needed to. And I felt like it.
She was walking slow, but she got up in the car herself and sat in the very back (not in her usual captain chair,) and she got herself out of the car and walked in on her own. The doctor put her on the exam table, but every test he ran came back that she was healthy. No fever, gums were fine, not dehydrated. He said it just looked like she was depressed, except that she was shaking so bad. He also noticed that she had a nervous twitch when he got too close to her face. His exact words were, "Nothing is fundamentally wrong with this dog, but there is something wrong with this dog." He did say her eyes were a little inflamed, so he gave me some eye medicine and told me to bring her back the next morning. He also said that it just looked like she had a headache.
As soon as we got home and she hit the grass beside the car, she squatted to pee. Not that big a deal to some dogs, but she is VERY modest. It was like she just couldn't hold it even though she had just peed a few hours before, and she had gone 13 hours before while holding it.
We went in, she went straight to bed, but when I woke up the next morning, she was sleeping on the bed next to me.
January 8
When I took her outside, she immediately squatted down to pee again, with me right there. Then she couldn't jump up in the car. If I had a raging headache, I wouldn't want to either. I helped her in, and dropped her off at the vet's office and came to work.
The initial news, I could deal with. She was blind in her right eye, but that didn't answer why she was in so much pain. The only thing they could guess was that something happened in her brain/optic nerve that was causing a headache, and eventually caused her to go blind. However, she was not blind in her eye the night before, so it was a "developing" case.
When I went to pick her up, I had a meeting with the doctor. He told me all of the possibilities. He told me that he called the company of the new flea medicine I was using to make sure that this wasn't a common problem. He and the two other doctors at his practice stayed on a conference call with my regular vet over a lunch meeting and ruled certain things out, while saying they couldn't rule out others. All he could do was send me home with pain medicine and nausea medicine and see what time would tell. We went home, I tried to get her to eat a little but she really wasn't having it, and I laid down with her in her bed until she fell asleep. I could not sleep very well and kept checking on her, but she did at one point flip to her other side, and then back to the first side. I tried to get her to go outside 4 times, but she didn't want to get up.
January 9
When I woke up this morning, I went straight to her bed to check on her, and noticed she was wet. I turned the light on and she had peed all over herself and her bed. Again, she never has peed in the house before. I tried to get her up to take her outside to pee, but she wouldn't stand up. I tried to make her stand up, putting her front feet up, but before I could get her back end up, she would fold over and lay back down. It wasn't that she didn't have the strength - she didn't have the will. I immediately called the vet on call (because this was 6 this morning) and told her what was going on. She told me that I should probably bring her in. I couldn't get her in the car and Dad had to call a friend to come help me, then a vet tech had to get her out of the car. The vet did his initial checks, said she still wasn't sick, but her second eyelid was covering her left eye now, making it look really creepy and blood red. Since she was still in the bed, he did note that her pee looked dark, but that they couldn't tell anything much from that. He was going to start with trying to make her stand up first, and they would call me as soon as there was news. So here I am, waiting it out.
Jillie is the Jesus of dogs. She loves everyone, even people who I don't want her to even like. She is friendly toward all animals (except skunks,) and as pit bulls go, she is pretty much the opposite of all the stereotypes. Please send her some good vibes if you've got a minute today.
I have been considering writing a book blog because I'm nerdy, but the events of the last few days and the questions that have arisen around it, I figured that I would let y'all in on the happenings with details, and spare those on facebook who don't want to read about it.
So, Jillie is really sick. What she has or what is wrong with her is yet to be determined, but I'll get to that later. I'll tell a little background. If pee or poop, bothers you, SORRY, turn away now... Also, if rambling bothers you, well, you're in for a treat.
January 7
Morning - Jillie was super happy dog, doing her little stretches and wagging her tail and all set on going outside to go potty. It was a pretty cold morning, but I went back inside for about 15 minutes to finish getting ready, and then went back out to get her. When I opened the door, she was standing in the middle of the backyard just staring at me, and I could see she was shaking. It was a cold morning, so I ushered her in, where she was walking pretty slow. I know she's dramatic, so I blew it off. I did notice her eyes watering VERY bad, but I thought it was from the wind. I leave her 4 little rawhide treats when I go to work, and I noticed that she bypassed them and went straight to her bed and laid down. We all don't feel good sometimes, and I just credited it to the cold weather and maybe she was kind of tired. I left for work.
Evening - When I got home from work, she didn't greet me at the door. I knew then that she REALLY didn't feel good. Walking through my house, I noticed 2 vomit puddles in my living room, and a very small pee spot in my bedroom. She has NEVER peed in the house. She was cuddled up in my bed, and I noticed again that her eyes were runny. We've all had colds, I just let it go. I finally got her off the bed and took her outside, where she went number 1 and number 2, but it was right outside the back door. She is usually very modest and goes to the back fence. She was walking very slowly around the back yard, and while she usually comes and sits by the door to wait for me, she sat down up closer to the house. Not that weird, but not her usual self.
Usually when I get home from work, she is bugging me until I take her out, take her somewhere, or go for a walk. That day, she just went straight back to her bed. I never thought it could be anything serious. I laid in bed to read and watched her sit with her face toward the wall, then lay down toward the wall, then turn around and sit up with her eyes closed. She started bobbing her head left and right, and laid back down. She wasn't opening her eyes during any of this.
She finally stood up and walked to where I was laying on the bed, but she didn't do anything except stare at the wall. She was kind of ignoring me when I was saying her name, and was definitely not wagging her tail when I talked to her like normal. When she finally looked at me, her eyes were blood red and snot/liquid was dripping from her eyes and nose onto the floor. I immediately did the wrong thing and started googling, and to me, it looked like distemper even though she had the vaccination.
I called my vet, but she doesn't have an after hours service, so I called the other vet in Bowie, Cross Timbers. I was upset at this point, and told him there was something seriously wrong with my dog and I was afraid it was distemper. He told me that it could be a lot of things, but I could bring her in if I felt like I needed to. And I felt like it.
She was walking slow, but she got up in the car herself and sat in the very back (not in her usual captain chair,) and she got herself out of the car and walked in on her own. The doctor put her on the exam table, but every test he ran came back that she was healthy. No fever, gums were fine, not dehydrated. He said it just looked like she was depressed, except that she was shaking so bad. He also noticed that she had a nervous twitch when he got too close to her face. His exact words were, "Nothing is fundamentally wrong with this dog, but there is something wrong with this dog." He did say her eyes were a little inflamed, so he gave me some eye medicine and told me to bring her back the next morning. He also said that it just looked like she had a headache.
As soon as we got home and she hit the grass beside the car, she squatted to pee. Not that big a deal to some dogs, but she is VERY modest. It was like she just couldn't hold it even though she had just peed a few hours before, and she had gone 13 hours before while holding it.
We went in, she went straight to bed, but when I woke up the next morning, she was sleeping on the bed next to me.
January 8
When I took her outside, she immediately squatted down to pee again, with me right there. Then she couldn't jump up in the car. If I had a raging headache, I wouldn't want to either. I helped her in, and dropped her off at the vet's office and came to work.
The initial news, I could deal with. She was blind in her right eye, but that didn't answer why she was in so much pain. The only thing they could guess was that something happened in her brain/optic nerve that was causing a headache, and eventually caused her to go blind. However, she was not blind in her eye the night before, so it was a "developing" case.
When I went to pick her up, I had a meeting with the doctor. He told me all of the possibilities. He told me that he called the company of the new flea medicine I was using to make sure that this wasn't a common problem. He and the two other doctors at his practice stayed on a conference call with my regular vet over a lunch meeting and ruled certain things out, while saying they couldn't rule out others. All he could do was send me home with pain medicine and nausea medicine and see what time would tell. We went home, I tried to get her to eat a little but she really wasn't having it, and I laid down with her in her bed until she fell asleep. I could not sleep very well and kept checking on her, but she did at one point flip to her other side, and then back to the first side. I tried to get her to go outside 4 times, but she didn't want to get up.
January 9
When I woke up this morning, I went straight to her bed to check on her, and noticed she was wet. I turned the light on and she had peed all over herself and her bed. Again, she never has peed in the house before. I tried to get her up to take her outside to pee, but she wouldn't stand up. I tried to make her stand up, putting her front feet up, but before I could get her back end up, she would fold over and lay back down. It wasn't that she didn't have the strength - she didn't have the will. I immediately called the vet on call (because this was 6 this morning) and told her what was going on. She told me that I should probably bring her in. I couldn't get her in the car and Dad had to call a friend to come help me, then a vet tech had to get her out of the car. The vet did his initial checks, said she still wasn't sick, but her second eyelid was covering her left eye now, making it look really creepy and blood red. Since she was still in the bed, he did note that her pee looked dark, but that they couldn't tell anything much from that. He was going to start with trying to make her stand up first, and they would call me as soon as there was news. So here I am, waiting it out.
Jillie is the Jesus of dogs. She loves everyone, even people who I don't want her to even like. She is friendly toward all animals (except skunks,) and as pit bulls go, she is pretty much the opposite of all the stereotypes. Please send her some good vibes if you've got a minute today.
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