Tuesday, January 13, 2015

1/13 Morning

I thought I would be taking Jillie home from the vet yesterday evening, but she was VERY sedated from her anti-seizure medication and she still couldn't swallow. That meant we couldn't bring her home for oral medications. She finally woke up a little and could definitely hear us but she was very groggy.

I went by this morning before work and she was awake, but there were a lot of people in the room and barking dogs. This seemed to be triggering some seizure-like activity (because light, noise, anything really can set off a seizure.) When they left, I opened her kennel door and sat with her. I talked to her and she opened her eyes and lifted her head and was watching me and licked my hand. When the doctor came in, she lifted her head and watched him come in.

She was panting heavily, which made me nervous, but they said the medication was doing that to her, and on top of that, she still couldn't swallow. She doesn't seem in pain or unhappy, really. She still seemed groggy, but she knew I was there and put her head on my knee while I talked to her.

I asked the doctor what he thought her outcome would be from this. He said, if it is just a hematoma or a bleed, he thought about a 50/50 chance. If it's a tumor or mass, her chances go down to about 20-30%. Not that news that I wanted to hear, but I guess this has been a reality for several days now.

She had also peed in her cage, and that made me worried that she had another seizure through the night (they don't have people monitoring all night.) He said that if the seizure is bad enough, and even though this is the strongest medication for seizures right now, a seizure could still happen.

Two days ago, I told Jillie it was okay to let go. That I would be okay if she needed to go. She just needed to show me a sign that she was ready. That night, she got up, drank water, was awake for a while, walking around on her own, using the potty on her own. That's not her giving up.

When she had the bad seizure yesterday morning, I thought that was it. Then the vet called and said that she was standing in her kennel. That is not her giving up.

When we went by and saw her last night, the vet tech said, "She is a fighter." She isn't giving up.

So I can't give up either.

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